Aspire to Inspire

grace.

2009-01-25T23:28:00.001-08:00

Nothing separates us from the love of God.
There is nothing I can do to make God love me more.
And nothing I can makes God love me less.

He's so good.

2008-12-25T10:10:00.000-08:00

HAPPY

BIRTHDAY

JESUS.

(repeat the sounding joy)

2008-12-22T08:52:00.000-08:00

2008-12-04T17:49:00.001-08:00

Kings of Leon - Use Somebody

hosea 14.4

2008-12-04T17:35:00.000-08:00

I will heal their waywardness and love them freely.

+

2008-11-17T17:32:00.000-08:00

sometimes my mind can't handle it all. i have had so many thoughts, experiences, feelings thrown at me the past two weeks; i hardly can contain them all. so i thought i could share some (i apologize in advance for the sporadic nature of it all_)

God is so good. I love being challenged and renewed all at the same time.

recent:/

For the entirety of my high school career, I put God in boxes. I never realized it until i encountered a community where the reality of Christ is lived out. My perception of my small god was that he was at church, at small group, and in my heart. I thought that I was taking him to my school, to my mission work, with me. God has been showing me that this is so wrong. Anywhere I go, God is already/always there. He just calls me to be His hands and feet and point out to others where He already is. In Him, to Him, and through Him are all things. (end of rom 11) And who am I to think that God has any limits?

Romans 8: Self focus leads to death. Attention to God leads to openness, freedom, and hope.

My God takes humiliation and turns it into exhaltation. My God takes dark and floods it with light. My God breings redemption and healing in the midst of pain. this heartbreak. this chaos. this mess. God can take it.

we so often value product over process. that mentality leads to fierce competition, decrease in quality of life, and overall rushed approach towards everything.
--let's slow down. be all here. get to know God, one another, and ourselves

Exhale: gathering in the art center to worship God through the arts. "artists are called to wait. To create and then step back, take time." The waiting process is difficult in any realm, but especially with a piece of your soul laid out to bare.
Worship? Arts?
Worship is often saturated with thoughts of music, hymns, "worship songs", Christian music. This is a prominent form because it combines two types of the most relatable types of arts: music and language. Our hearts resonate with both of these deeply. Through all, our senses and thoughts are freed to respond to, connect to, sing truth about the only true God: the one who has come near to bring Creation to Himself.

Christianity should be spread by fascination; not by force.

I love seeing people in there element. "We find our calling where our greatest joy meets the world's deepest needs."

Nothing is useless in God' eyes.

Romans 3:23 (You know; the verse that everyone always references the first part; read the second.) For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God and are justified freely by His grace through the redemption that came by Jesus Christ. (it's one fluid sentence-- we deserve punishment but His grace is so much bigger)

http://www.fingerofgodfilm.com/#/trailer/
We watched 'Finger of God' as a community in my reseidence hall. It's about one man's journey to seek out what God is doing in the world. It completely blew my mind and challenged a lot of my presuppositions. so good. God is the ultimate Healer and He desires to show His love to His people.

Mosaic Community: we're talking about the fruit of the Spirit-- the things that will naturally come out of your life when you're focusing on God. We were made to bring forth love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness,faithfulness. I could talk forever about these.. This past week, JD talked about faithfulness. In relationships, in friendships. But what hit me most was being faithful to the person God has created you to be.
-"Don't compare what you've been given to what others have. Develop your God given potential. It's not your job to make your dreams happen. If that's your goal, you'll do whatever it takes to make it to the top. That is not God's desire. Be faithful in the little and it's on God to make it happen."

You, Oh Lord, breathe on me and speak more truth than any other I have known or will know. You know my heart and still draw near to me. Oh, that I may listen intently as You recount Your marvelous ways. Pour into me that I may pour out. I am Yours. No more scars or fears.

currently:/
i have a fair amount of work on my plate. a lot of non-work on my mind. and a nostalgic distant memory of more daylight.

psalm 145

2008-10-13T01:27:00.000-07:00

Lord, You are gracious,
You are slow to anger, abounding in love
You are good to all.

I'm pretty sure that I've been in Seattle for almost three weeks now. But it feels like so much longer than that. I love (almost) everything about being here. I just wish i could bring all my family/ friends along for this chapter of my life in Washington. But i know and believe that God is doing great and wonderful things in and through those sweet people where they are. It is a beautiful thing that i ended up here, and i could not be any more pleased with God leading me here.

I am learning about who God is, who He wants me to be, and what He is doing in this great world. School is sweet and I love my bio and chem courses and it feels so good to be back in the lab again.

I am currently attending Mosaic Community Church in Seattle on Sundays and i really dig it. It is intimate and life giving and challenges me to love God and others each day. I thank God that He has brought this community into my life. so good.

above all else, God is so gracious and is providing more than i could have ever asked for. I love the community at Seattle Pacific and the city is incredible.

it is basically 2 in the morning (i am accustomed to this habit by now) but i was just feeling reflective. I could probably share loads more; but i wanted to put this down while it was on my mind. Feel free to call me anytime (3 hour time difference)

if you are reading this, know that i love you immensely and think of you often. Thank you for making me who i am today. Enjoy your journey of today and remember that God satisfies the desires of all things.

all to the glory of my God, my King.

Philippians 2:12-13

2008-08-19T11:26:00.000-07:00

“Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, so now, not only as in my presence but much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure.”

2008-07-18T18:01:00.000-07:00

I. 2004
One glace and you send that film
reel spinning through my mind,
ricocheting misplaced words from
your tongue to my ears;
glass diamonds, colorless and penetrating
like your heart, seem to plead for my attention
but i won't go back.

II. 2005
we leave silent, the necessary unsaid
yet provide perpetual commentary
on a swept together friendship.
[it was never meant to be this way]

III. 2006
Unfaithfulness can not be in You,
yet i wish i could say the same for me.
I dread to think of what would happen
if You ever changed Your mind about me.
thanfully, You can not. You still haunt me
with the gentle ways You have of speaking
to the part of me that wants to hide.

IV. 2007
to me, You have become
greater than my heartbeat,
more than my deepest sigh.
the Catcher of my questions,
the Filler of my empty hands,
the Fullness of every lyric,
the Color in every eye,
and the Fury of every ocean.
You sing more truth to me than I have ever known

I have eternally been accepted by,
delighted in, sung over, bound to
no other heart but Yours.

V. 2007
i am caught
amidst the roar of the tides.
Each wave beckons me to itself--
hoping to crash and crush me.
i may bend but i will not break.
not this time. not today. not on Your watch.

these words run with the rain
and remind me that You've heard me all along

and I am caught
in Your arms as You pull me tight.
Each spoken word pours peace into me,
renewing this battered heart.

VI. 2008
and as i spoke with You,
i breathed easier--
empty of myself- but more full
and aware of You.

i could see the sun bursting through
the clouds... and i felt the wind
changing directions for the first time
(in a long time)

i glanced backwards (even though You tell
me not to) and i saw the grays and dark blues
continue to blow away.

You speak to me,
"those days are covered in My grace,
move towards this new found light.
I will take care of you, my dear."

VII. 2008
Stars, grass, summer heat,
a cool, dark breeze.
all a whisper:
You are here with me.

for wisdom to be properly forged in our hearts, it requires us to stand the pressures of life.

Vision Of You

2008-07-04T19:17:00.000-07:00

+I'm learning the value of silence and calm.
+I have experienced so much of God's grace through this Breakaway internship. I absolutely love the kids.
+God continues to amaze me with how He is able to use me.
+I registered for Fall classes at SPU and it feels good to be a Biology major :)
-i don't quite feel like myself.
-investing in the lives of others seems to be difficult for me these days
-i am struggling with cynicism/ my attitude
-i hate being lost in my daily routines

above all this & in all of this, God is sovereign and trust worthy. I know He will use all of this somehow. i pray that i would keep an open mind and heart. and that Jesus would somehow get some glory from the way i live my life.

tune my heart to all You are in me

2008-07-01T21:34:00.000-07:00

God is big.
&
God is good.

-labels-

2008-06-19T19:14:00.000-07:00

“Christian” and “non-Christian.” I was surprised to learn that such labels were rarely, if ever, used in Biblical times. Even the label “Christian” was originally born out of a derogatory reference people used to identify Christ followers, making fun of how they imitated Jesus.

Who really is a “Christian?” is it someone who has all the “Christian” theological answers? What if it’s a person who has all the “Christian” information down pat, but whose life doesn’t resemble anything like the life of love Jesus lived? What about a person with an intellectual or learning disability? Can they be a “Christian?” Is a “Christian” someone who prayed the Jesus prayer? What if their motivation for doing so was to make their girlfriend happy?

lately, i've been thinking critically about how i talk, how i view others, how i respond to certain occurences, etc. i have decided that it is the little things of life that really matter. If I view everyone I encounter as a living, breathing expression of God, I am free to love and live in peace.

"forget about trying to find the right label to pin on them. instead, desire love, peace, and freedom for every person by being an instrument of love, peace, and freedom yourself. by doing this, you are living in the way Jesus lived." -jim palmer

"Our tiny choices and tiny moves toward God may not seem like much. But someday you and I will stand together in the great cathedral of Heaven, and up front, by jesus, will hang the most magnificent mosaic we could ever imagine made up of thousands and thousands of our tiny responses to God's love in our lives." -mike yanconelli [Messy Spirituality]

Walls

2008-06-09T19:52:00.000-07:00

+ i realize this is a commercial for jeans,
+ but it is so much more than that.
+ i love the visuals, music, build up.

and most of all, the symbolism resonates with me. and it inspires me to live. it whispers, "remember, these struggles are worth it. you are stronger today than you were yesterday. and one day, you will soar."

this is just silly.

2008-05-30T19:50:00.000-07:00

5 years ago I was...
1. beginning my journey following Christ
2. basically living at tori's house
3. learning what it meant to be a teenager.
4. absorbed in the athletic world; lacrosse, dance, basketball
5. identifying my true support system- friends and family

5 things on my to-do list today:
1. Advanced Placement Spanish Final Exam
2. stamp, seal, send some Graduation Announcements
3. Excercise at the gym for onehour.
4. Journal about Erwin's newest podcast
5. enjoy the sunshine with friends!

5 Snacks I enjoy:
1. nice fruit. pineapple, cantelope
2. apples & peanut butter. (i can't think of the last time i didn't have this combo for lunch)
3. macaroni and cheese mm
4. ice cream!
5. chocolate cookies [or just the dough]

5 things I would do if I was a billionaire..
1. Give a majority to Jesus' work via Charity:Water, Radooga Ministries, LifePoint Church, & Mercy Ships
2. Give bouquets of flowers/ batches of cookies to people every day for the rest of my life
3. Pay off my future college debt!
4. Live in the following places for two years each--
New Zealand, Spain, Norway, Costa Rica, etc.
5. smile

5 of my bad habits are:
1. wasting time
2. not being fully present (heart & mind) in every situation
"where ever you are, be all there"- C.S. Lewis
3. forgetting anything i don't write down
4. coping an attitude at work/school/home
5. complaining. ugh, sorry.

5 jobs I have had:
1. Servant of God (a bit of a cliche, but that doesn't diminish the truth of it)
2. Party Coordinator at Fun Quarters
3. Floor/Game Tecnichian at FQ
4. Youth Instructor at Merritt Athletic Club
(i like to dub this position Crowd Control)
5. Breakaway Intern!!!! [THIS SUMMER WOOO]

5 places I have lived:
1. Landsdowne, MD
2. Eldersburg, MD
3. airport terminals =D
4. Merritt Athletic Club. (basically)
5. in a dorm in Bucha, Ukraine <3

What 5 people do you want to tag?
1. Jilletshka!
2. Mrs. Kim!
3-5. Whoever feels like it.

Prom Pictures.

2008-05-30T17:21:00.001-07:00

'twas quite a swell time indeed.

books to read (2008)

2008-05-06T18:47:00.000-07:00

i've been in this reading kick lately (mostly due to the amount of free time in my life). I really like reading, but it is difficult to do while taking english classes in school. this is more for a personal use, but i'm going to list the books i have, want to, and are currently reading [this year].

///edited:: 06.09.08

Have Read:
-Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller (again)
-1/2 of Captivating by the Eldridges
-The Sacred Romance by John Eldridge
-Your Captivating Heart by Stasi Eldridge
-Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson (again)
-Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini
-Everything Is Illuminated by Jonathon Safran Foer (again)
-An Invisible Sign Of My Own by Aimee Bender
[THIS WAS SO GOOD!]
-The Persistence Of Memory by Tony Eprile
-The Gospel According to Starbucks by Leonard Sweet

Currently Reading:
-Messy Spirituality by Mike Yanconelli
[really nice & relatable, so far]

Desire To Read:
-A Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burgess
-Emotionally Healthy Spirituality by Peter Scazzero
-The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls
-The Way Of Transition by William Bridges
-The Namesake by Jhumpa Lahiri
-Catch-22 by Joseph Heller
-Praying In Color by Sybil MacBeth
-1066 And All That by W.C. Sellar
-The Organic God by Margaret Feinberg
-On The Road by Jack Kerouac (is this as amazing as its cracked up to be?)
-Brave New World by Aldous Huxley
-Humility: True Greatness by C.J. Mahaney

the end.

Joylist! (thanks KC)

2008-04-29T13:09:00.000-07:00

1. Getting through this past week. I worked everyday.. totaling 30 hours; plus school and homework and cleaning and resting. Now, i can pretty much get through anything.

2. Senior year is absolutely glorious. I love freedom and only being at LHS for 3 hours everyday. [23 days left]

3. Meeting people who go to Lifepoint in random settings. I love life stories.

4. Discernment while reading a book.. 'Captivating' was reccomended to me by several females. I was roughly half way through it and nothing was really sitting well with me. I read some Bible before reading it today and realized that all i really need to do is love God and glorify Him with all that is within me.

5. My family room smells lovely. My mom planted two lavender bushes outside our windows and they've finally reached the height where you can smell them when you open the windows.

6. Breakaway; my home away from home. I work with some incredible people on sunday mornings. it is such a pleasure to see fourth, fifth, and sixth graders really get to know Christ. and i love how relational and relevant it is. (i love the memory verse these days)

7. At the end of a race between me & my five nieces/nephews. Leah (4) remarks, "I can feel my heart beeping."

8. Mrs Peg Posey. She sent me the sweetest thank you card for the Cherry Blossom nonsense. Amazing. i love that family.

9. I have some really nice brothers & sisters in Christ:

10!!! My best friend, Tori Evans, moved to Chicago in 2004, right after 8th grade. She visited Maryland for the 2004/2005 New Year. However, I had not seen her since then. Due to a lovely (miraculous) situation, Tori came to Maryland once more two weekends ago. She performed [RAPPED] at weekend 180 and at a church in Eldersburg.

It was incredible to see her, to see how she has grown, and to just make memories with her. I also got to meet her boyfriend & best friend. I could not ask for better people in her life.

I have finally, fully come to accept that fact that God brought us to different places for His purposes. I love what He is doing in her life/ through her life.

love without fear. (a prayer&hope for me and you)

Trash + Shadows

2008-04-09T10:03:00.000-07:00

...by british artists tim noble & sue webster
(thoughts?)

and when it rains..

2008-04-06T18:01:00.000-07:00

D.C. this weekend was full of rain, mud, bananas, and runners.

Besides the Cherry Blossom Ten Miler,
i witnessed one of the most ironic moments of my life.

picture this..

I'm walking in downtown Washington and there is a bench outside of a McDonald's. (think bright red and yellow, kids running around and screaming) Sitting upon said bench was a fairly young man, maybe late twenties. And he was reading contently, posed exactly the same as Ronald McDonald. Such tranquility amidst chaos. I so wish i had the focus power of him.

this random post was brought to you by the letter M.

Prom?

2008-04-02T19:36:00.001-07:00

easter

2008-03-23T18:26:00.000-07:00

Why should I gain from His reward?
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart:
His wounds have paid my ransom

You tore the veil. You made a way.

just wanted to jot this down before class...

2008-03-13T08:45:00.000-07:00

late last night, my dad booked flights for us to go to Chicago in July. this is one of the off campus events to register for classes at Seattle. It made this whole decision process very final.

however: today, as i went to write the flight info into my planner, i realized that is conflicts with Reality Week. We're leaving on Tuesday night, getting back Wednesday night.

this happened right in the middle of calc class so i basically freaked out.

but God being who He is, whispered to me:

i know what is best for Your heart. I laid out these plans way before
you were even born. Breathe. It's all going to be okay.

rom. 8:28 He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That's why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.

whew.

take the time to be okay

2008-03-07T20:03:00.000-08:00

to the future

2008-03-05T12:29:00.000-08:00

it helps, now and then, to step back and take the long view.

the kingdom is not only beyond our efforts, it is beyond our vision.
we accomplish in our lifetime only a tiny fraction of
the magnificent enterprise that is God's work.

nothing we do is complete, which is another way
of saying that the kingdom always lies beyond us.
no statement says all that could be said.
no prayer fully expresses our faith.
no confession brings perfection...
no set of goals and objectives includes everything.

this is what we are about:
we plant seeds that one day will grow.
we water seeds already planted,
knowing that they hold future promise.
we lay foundations that will need further development.
we provide yeast that produces effects beyond our capabilities.

we cannot do everything
and there is a sense of liberation in realizing that.
this enables us to do something,
and to do it very well.

it may be incomplete, but it is a beginning,
a step along the way
an opportunity for God's grace to enter and do the rest.
we may never see the end results.
we are prophets of a future not our own.

-Archbishop Oscar Romero of El Salvador

Ecclesiastes

2008-02-22T08:19:00.000-08:00

There's an opportune time to do things, a right time for everything on the earth:
A right time for birth and another for death
A right time to plant and another to reap,
A right time to kill and another to heal,
A right time to cry and another to laugh,
A right time to lament and another to cheer,
A right time to make love and another to abstain,
A right time to embrace and another to part,
A right time to search and another to count your losses,
A right time to hold on and another to let go,
A right time to rip out and another to mend,
A right time to shut up and another to speak up,
A right time to love and another to hate,
A right time to wage war and another to make peace.

v. 14 I've also concluded that whatever God does, that's the way it's going to be, always. No addition, no subtraction. God's done it and that's it. That's so we'll quit asking questions and simply worship in holy fear. Whatever was, is. Whatever will be, is. That's how it always is with God.

now is the time to keep our hearts focused on God, to love each other whole and without fear. and know that the Creator of the Universe is right here to comfort each one of us and take our hand through this difficult time. and this is especially true for the Lawyer's and their fmaily and friends.

grace and peace to you, my dear friend.

with needle and thread

2008-02-19T19:08:00.000-08:00

i read this today and it really struck a chord in me:

"For as long as you can remember, you have been a pleaser, depending on others to give you an identity. You need not look at that only in a negative way. You wanted to give your heart to others, and you did so quickly and easily. But now you are being asked to let go of all these self-made props and trust that God is enough for you. You must stop being a pleaser and reclaim your identity as a free self."- Henri Nouwen

together, we can join God in this story of redemption. "He asks us to whisper truth to the face of death, to lay down our lives that others might find something alive. Something true. Pain is real. But hope is also real. The fight song and the love song collide. The song is ours to sing."

We are made of love and all the beauty stemming from it.
We are made of love and every fracture caused by the lack of it.
"You were a million years of work," Said God and His angels,
with needle and thread.
They kissed your head and said, "You're a good kid
and you make us proud. So just give your best and
the rest will come, and we'll see you soon."
-sleepingatlast.

lovelovelove.

-to self-

2008-02-10T21:04:00.000-08:00

your breaths break like tides on the shoreline
each one unsure of the gravity, swell of the next

i try to penetrate the distance and fog between us and fail
so please, break down these walls, open the fortress gates.
your heart does not belong in such a place.

He paid your ransom that day, you know,
between two thieves... amongst the insults...
He took it all so you could be free.

through nothing short of grace, God is making new life
and He does not intend for you to be limited
by regrets, fears, and broken things.

encountering surrender is a daily step you must take
on this journey that is nothing short of exhilirating.

this still needs some work; but i figured i'd still post it.

it's all in a name?

2008-02-05T13:10:00.000-08:00

"i am not responsible for every outcome, i am responsible for my obedience to God."
---that is a major thought that has been getting me through these days.
and some Jon Foreman [ + ]

also, i recently read:
" Nomenclature has a big influence in how we perceive something. "

so feel free to join the discussion..

What are a couple things that are positively or negatively influenced by their name?

ex.
schoolwork (daniel tosh: "you just combined everyone's two least favorite things")

Your love is strong. The Kingdom of the Heaven is now advancing. Invade my heart, invade this broken town. The Kingdom of the Heaven is a buried treasure... Will you sell everything you are for what you’ve found?

Balumtine'th Day

2008-01-30T15:31:00.000-08:00

i don't even know. haha

i'll be Found in You.. still standing

2008-01-23T12:30:00.000-08:00

"and if God is a songwriter, He can take these fallen leaves of mine and redeem them."
I am not quite sure about all of this but I felt a tug in my heart to share what's been going on with me. I don't normally do this whole 'broadcasting to the whole wide world (web)' thing, but here goes.

this season of my life has been difficult- really great but trying nevertheless. It has been full of growth and learning on my part. Now, these two things void of life don't count for much, nothing more than memorized jargon. But when intertwined with application and action, growth can change you so much it hurts.

and that is the reason my heart aches these days. My heart, as well as my mind, has been expanding and defining all that is real. I have seen immense need to let go of cerain things that I unnecessarily emphasize too much in my life. and i could have never guessed some of the additions. But all of this comes with growing pains, i suppose.

the question on my mind these days has been 'how much of what I do is rooted in wanting others to like me?'

sure, this isn't a crime but bad motives and living falsely is a crime of the heart. one that has plagues me all too often. This not only pains those around me, but breaks God's heart.

I have heard it said that "Humanity can't fully comprehend the love of God." And for now, I am sure of that. I want to know God more, rest in His peace and grace, and be a partaker in His movement of love. I'm not quite sure how yet, but it is all in the process. It's about the journey, not the destination right? So this is where i'm at in my journey as of late..

sometimes I know acutely that I do not belong to this world
know it as if it is a blanket wrapped around me
it makes life seem short and purpose fills me with more awe
especially when I feel this ache...
when my heart is moved, but it's not just the words I am praying
when I love differently than I could have taught myself
then I know again that we were made to embrace more
than what can be confined, defined, or embraced by the world around us
the Voice, then, sounds louder, the ache becomes more painful
the love more real because when we breathe in Him
it is we who become more alive, more able to see and feel and hear and know

2007-12-27T12:57:00.000-08:00

i haven't given much thought to this as of yet; but i figure i would throw it out to all of you-- (those that actually read my little blog). Let me know what you think about this conversation starter:

Say you are hosting a dinner party where you could invite any five people, living or dead.

Whom would you select and why?

Note To Self:

2007-12-02T18:37:00.000-08:00

- everything is going to be alright.
-change is not so scary. embrace it with all you've got.
- figure out a way to do a weekly raok. it fills you up.

- see The Darjeeling Limited =)
also, Juno =)

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

nothing is truly , lastingly g o o d
[outside] the context
of a relationship with YA H W E H . . . .

within such a relationship, however ,
e v e r y t h i n g (with the exclusion of sin)
finds a measure of b e a u t y &significance.

2007-11-26T19:43:00.000-08:00

i'll run til i finish the race

2007-11-25T12:53:00.000-08:00

i had forgotten how nice truly meaningful conversation is.
God somehow always seems to know what i need.

i need to just love. to not put up walls.
to experience all that God puts in front of me.
to not regret anything (including friendships strained by distance)

i am so thankful that God is changing me.
it's scary and wonderful all at the same time.

for this very heart, You have shaped for Your pleasure; the purpose to lift Your name high
here in surrender, in pure adoration, i enter Your courts with an offering of praise

sleepysleepysleepy

2007-11-13T00:54:00.001-08:00

i am unraveling, unbearably empty
and if this ground gives way; i just
hope that you'll catch me.

writing an essay until 4am was a bad choice.

Note to self:
don't put things off. it makes you very drained.

goodnight.

one step at a time.

2007-11-11T14:21:00.000-08:00

"it's not about highlighting the darkness.
it's about becoming the light that diminishes the darkness"
-joel houston.

John did an awesome job telling the story of Lauren McCain's life this morning in Breakaway. Lauren McCain was a follower of Christ who died on that tragic day in April on the Virginia Tech campus. God's work in and through her is remarkable and inspiring. and i am so glad John got to share that with us. Breakaway is becoming home to me more and more. I love being there and my girls hold a huge part of my heart. I love learning from them and with them. God is doing some amazing things in them. so beautiful.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

i don't know what i'm going to do in the future; where i'm going to be. But i am sure that God has a plan for me and i'm going to try my best tolisten and follow where He leads me. because He has my best at heart. I honestly just want to be love and show love through my life. and the only way i can do that is if i am connected to the One who is Love.

The victory was Yours for us to see
And all will know the truth
As we live by Your grace
Every praise to You alone..

ps. everyone needs to check out the new Hillsong CD. mm amazing.

You Tell Me To Live.

2007-10-31T18:36:00.000-07:00

When I'm lost and it seems the end,
like there's only certain death, You tell me to live.
When dark clouds cover the sky, like there's no hope,
You are the light, and You tell me to live.
When I'm all by myself, and I'm scared about my future,
- - - > [ You tell me to live. ]
And when You heal my broken wings, yes,
You heal my everything... You tell me to live.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

As my heart longs for the people it is missing, I know that were I with them, it would only long for others... and so I remind myself: that God's timing is perfect. that He is in control. and that I must live THIS moment in THIS place with THESE people- loving Him and loving them.

even though you are oceans away, i want you to know that I Love You and you are one of the people my heart misses.

=)

2007-10-18T20:01:00.000-07:00

Across the Universe is a fabulous movie.

and the music/ soundtrack is astounding.
character development and introduction--so good.

i definitely reccomend it.

you say you want a revolution
well, ya know, we all wanna change the world

-Passion-

2007-10-09T17:47:00.000-07:00

more and more the idea of Passion has been on my mind. i don't really know how to explain it but i feel like everything is just pointing to passion. The question 'What are you passionate about?' was posed at lifegroups the first week and i literally just can't shake it. compared to everyone else's responses of "horseback riding", "theatre", "twloha".. i felt insignificant. i couldn't think of a single thing.

maybe i'm at a place of change.
maybe i don't let simple hobbies define me.
i'm just not sure anymore.

i got a phone call today from a good friend of mine, Lindsey Oakley, who traveled to Ukraine with me this past summer. it was, quite possibly, one of the most refreshing conversations i have had in some time. Although unaware of the fact that i have been struggling with this, her words resounded in my heart like you couldn't imagine.

i needed to hear exactly what she said..

"God has lead both of us through some crazy things.. but i know each day, He is showing me more who He desires for me to be. And it's hard work.. but nothing is more satisfying than being who you are destined to be. I know senior year is basically a whirlwind and so much is changing. but just trust Him, ya know?.. it's seems simple but it's so difficult sometimes.."

"God might be changing your passions. You may start to fall in love with something that you never thought possible. but it's all part of the journey. and i'm here every step of the way if you ever need me"

"Self sacrifice is the way to finding yourself, your true self." -Jesus, matt. 16:25

mmmm. selah.

beautifully broken

2007-09-28T17:41:00.000-07:00

You have a paint brush in Your hand
and You are painting the words "Beautifully Broken"
on the walls of my room, all over me, all over my heart.

and then, with Your paint brush,
You are writing "My Beloved",
along with my name.

You heal me as You paint.
and then i realize that this whole time,
You have been holding me close,
and Your tears have been
mingling with mine.

some quotes i like

2007-09-11T18:52:00.000-07:00

-God's greatest creation is not His majestically flung stars, awesome waterfalls, or the gorged canyons--
it's His eternal plan to reach His children.

-"Claiming to love someone and yet ignoring their flaws is like admiring a sunset and yet ignoring the clouds."

[the measure of love is to love without measure.]

"Eventually, you will come to understand that love heals everything, even old love, and love is all there is"
— Gary Zukav

A friend is someone who understands your past,
believes in your future, and accepts you just the way you are.

although no one can go back and make a brand new start,
anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending-carl bard

"Faith without character is nothing" - Oleg V.

"God made this whole extravagantly beautiful earth and decided to put you in it to experience all this beauty"